If you know someone suffering with the pain of a miscarriage and want to support them but don't know how, here are some tips.
Tell them to Not Blame ThemselvesIn the case of miscarriage or any other fertility issue, it can be very hard for a woman to not blame herself. If you find that your friend feels as though it is her fault, try to gently remind her that it's something that many women experience. Tell her over and over again that she did nothing wrong, and never suggest anything they could have done differently about the pregnancy.
Validate Their Loss As RealWhether a miscarriage happened at six weeks or 36 weeks into the pregnancy, the situation did occur and a woman is allowed to grieve in her own way. Sometimes, women who experience miscarriages in the first trimester hear things along the lines of, “it wasn’t a baby yet,” and they feel that they don't have a right to grieve. Regardless of when it happened, the woman lost a baby and is allowed to feel sad. Listen to her, but never invalidate her grief based on how many weeks pregnant she was.
Avoid ClichesOne of the worst things you can tell to anyone who is grieving over something is that “everything happens for a reason” or that “this was supposed to happen”. You may think you're helping by saying something like that, but you may actually cause more harm to your loved one. Acknowledge how disappointing the situation is and focus on listening rather than trying to make it better with those classic cliches.
Don’t Forget About the FatherIt takes a man and a woman to make a baby, so it doesn't just mean a woman is grieving during this major fertility problem. Reach out to the father and ask him how he's feeling. Tell him how much you support him and be there for him if he needs to cry or vent. While it may be hard for you, do your best to be there for both grieving parents.
Miscarriages and other fertility issues can be very difficult for somebody to get through, yet they're very common. In fact, one in eight couples has trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. However, if you have a friend who is going through a miscarriage, take a look at a few of the suggestions listed above and use them when trying to help them cope with the situation.